The Complete Guide to Men's Funeral Attire: What to Wear and What to Avoid

What should a man wear to a funeral? While it's an occasion we least want to consider, funerals and memorials are essential social obligations and a vital part of the grieving process. This is one event where dressing appropriately is of the utmost importance to show respect.

To make this simple and stress-free, the Oliver Wicks team has weighed in with this easy-to-follow guide. We'll help you dress with thought and care for a funeral, without letting it overwhelm you.

4 Key Factors to Consider Before Choosing Funeral Attire

While we wish we could offer a one-size-fits-all guide, your final choice will depend on four key factors.

1. Time of Year and Location

While the weather is likely the last thing on your mind, comfort is important. Most funeral attire involves layers, which can become uncomfortable in warm weather. Aim for seasonality in your fabric choices—a lighter wool for summer, and heavier wool for winter. That said, a graveside service in the summer might seem to allow for just wearing slacks and a short-sleeved shirt, but we advise against this. It is always better to show respect by being slightly too formal than too casual.

2. The Wishes of the Deceased

Your attire should be dignified and respectful, not a showcase for your personality. However, it's most respectful to honor the wishes of the person who has passed. Some people request a celebration of life with a vibrant dress code instead of a traditional, somber funeral. Always adapt to meet the funeral style they have chosen, including any cultural or religious expectations.

3. The Expectations of the Family

While the deceased is not present, their family is. Your clothing is a sign of support for them. Some families prefer a very formal and traditional atmosphere, while others may opt for something more relaxed. If a dress code is not specified, observing traditional etiquette is the safest and most respectful choice.

4. The Type of Event

Funerary rites vary greatly. Traditional Western funerals may include a viewing, a church service, and a graveside burial, all of which call for formal wear. However, you may be attending a memorial, a celebration of life, or a scattering ceremony, which can sometimes have a slightly less formal dress code. In many Asian, Hindu, and Buddhist funerals, for example, close male family members may wear white, while guests are still expected to wear black. If in doubt, look for a family spokesperson to ask, rather than bothering the immediate family.

Building the Ideal Funeral Outfit for a Man

Once you've considered the context, you can assemble a respectful outfit. Here is a breakdown of the key components, from the suit itself down to the final details of grooming.

What Colors to Wear to a Funeral

The traditional and safest choice for a Western funeral is a solid black suit with a plain white dress shirt. While this has relaxed slightly in recent years, the goal remains to present a somber, respectful appearance.

  • Best Choices: Black, a deep charcoal grey, or a dark navy blue are the ideal suit colors. These tones are conservative and do not draw attention.
  • Acceptable Alternatives: For a summer service, lighter but still conservative colors like gray may be appropriate, as long as they impart a somber vibe. A dark brown suit can also work.
  • Colors and Patterns to Avoid: Avoid bright colors entirely. Red, in particular, can be seen as offensive in many cultures. You should also steer clear of any noticeable patterns, such as pinstripes or checks, as they can appear too light-hearted for the occasion.

Remember, these color conventions are for traditional Western funerals. Always defer to any specific cultural or religious guidance you receive.

The Suit: Traditional and Alternatives

A well-fitting suit is the standard for funeral attire, but it is not the only option. Here we break down the primary choice, acceptable alternatives like separates, and the role of outerwear.

The Classic Suit

For most funerals, almost any type of suit is appropriate, with the main exception being tuxedo styles (unless explicitly requested). Your usual formal double-breasted or three-piece suit is the most traditional and respectful choice. The key is that it is somber, clean, and fits you well.

Suit Separates

While a full suit is traditional, it is not always necessary. You can achieve a respectful and straightforward look with suit separates, especially if the family has indicated a business casual feel. The most common combination is a pair of dark dress pants paired with a blazer.

Outerwear and Layering

Leveraging outerwear you already own is another excellent option, particularly for a graveside or outdoor service. A simple coat or a sophisticated black suit jacket can provide the elegant, somber vibe you need. You can also use layering pieces to build a respectful outfit; for example, a smart cardigan or a formal vest can make a dignified bridge between a dress shirt and trousers.

Accessories: For Completion, Not Style

Accessories should complete your outfit in a simple, dignified way, not draw attention or showcase personal style.

  • Footwear: Wear dark, polished dress shoes, such as black or dark brown oxfords or loafers. Always pair them with dark-colored dress socks.
  • Tie: An open neck can look too casual, so a tie is almost always necessary. Choose something conservative in a dark, solid color or with a very subtle pattern. A high-quality luxury tie can be a thoughtful choice, not to show off, but to convey respect. However, a bow tie is generally not acceptable as it is associated with celebratory events.
  • Belt: Your belt should be understated. Choose a simple belt in a leather that matches the color and finish of your shoes. Of course, this only applies if you wear belts, as some trousers or suit styles do not require one.
  • Other Items: Any other jewelry, like watches or cufflinks, should be understated and simple. This is not the time for flashy or attention-grabbing pieces.

Don't Forget Personal Grooming

Your outfit is only part of the presentation. Being well-groomed shows an extra layer of respect for the deceased and their family.

  • Ensure your hair and any facial hair are neatly combed and trimmed.
  • If you are typically clean-shaven, make sure you have a fresh shave.
  • Check that your nails are clean and trimmed.
  • Most importantly, ensure all garments are clean and well-pressed to avoid wrinkles.

What If You Don't Own a Suit?

It is crucial to look respectful, but not everyone has a suitable suit ready to go. If you find yourself in this situation, you have several practical options.

  • The Ideal Solution: While ordering a made-to-measure suit or vest is the best way to ensure a respectful and perfect fit, this may not always be possible due to time or budget constraints.
  • Acquiring a Suit Quickly: You can still find a great option on short notice.
    • Rent or Borrow: This is a popular short-term solution. Prioritize a good fit above all else.
    • Thrift Stores: You can often find high-quality, gently used suits. Consider looking in more affluent neighborhoods for a better selection.
    • Tailoring is Key: A black suit will not make up for a sloppy outfit. Whatever you choose, we strongly advise getting it tailored. A well-fitting thrifted suit is far more respectful than an expensive, ill-fitting rental.
  • Attend a Different Event: If you feel you cannot find appropriate attire, especially if you weren't very close to the departed, it is perfectly acceptable to attend the wake or "after-tears" party instead of the main service. These events often allow for more casual attire while still letting you pay your respects to the family.

What Not to Wear to a Funeral: 10 Things to Avoid

By now, the core principle should be clear: dress to express respect for the grieving family and the memory of the deceased, not to attract attention. To make this explicit, here are ten things men should never wear to a funeral, unless the family has made a specific request.

  1. Jeans: Even black or designer jeans are considered casual wear. They are not appropriate for a funeral. Always opt for dark dress pants or suit trousers.
  2. T-Shirts or Polo Shirts: A collared dress shirt is the minimum standard of respect. Under no circumstances should you ever attend a funeral in a t-shirt, and a polo shirt should only be considered as an absolute last resort for the most casual, outdoor, summer celebration of life.
  3. Sneakers, Flip-Flops, or Sandals: Any form of casual footwear is too informal and disrespectful. Stick to dark, polished dress shoes.
  4. Athletic Wear: Any clothing you would wear to the gym, such as hoodies, sweatpants, or track jackets, has no place at a funeral.
  5. Scruffy or Unkempt Items: A wrinkled shirt, scuffed shoes, or a coat covered in pet hair sends a message of carelessness and disrespect. Ensure your clothes are clean and well-pressed.
  6. Shorts: Regardless of the temperature or how casual the setting may seem, shorts are never appropriate male funeral attire.
  7. Trendy or "Loud" Clothing: Avoid eye-grabbing patterns, bright colors, large brand logos, or trendy fashion items. The focus should not be on your outfit.
  8. Flashy Sunglasses: If you need to wear sunglasses for an outdoor service, choose a classic, dark, conservative pair. Avoid brightly colored frames, mirrored lenses, or trendy styles that draw attention.
  9. Revealing Clothing: Yes, men can make this faux pas too. Anything that is overly tight, short, or revealing is inappropriate for a somber occasion.
  10. The Exception That Overrules All: Disregarding the Family's Wishes. This is the most important rule. If the family has specifically requested that guests wear bright colors, a funny tie, or a particular sports jersey to honor the deceased, you should always follow their wishes. Their request for how to celebrate a life overrides any and all traditional etiquette.

Conclusion: Your Guide to Respectful Funeral Attire

Ultimately, deciding what to wear to a funeral comes down to one guiding principle: showing the utmost respect for the deceased and their loved ones. While the details can feel overwhelming, the ideal men's funeral attire can be summarized with a few key points.

Key Takeaways:

  • Choose Somber Colors: A dark suit in black, charcoal, or navy is the traditional and safest choice. If using separates, stick to the same conservative color palette.
  • Prioritize Fit and Grooming: A clean, well-pressed, and properly fitting outfit is more important than an expensive one. A respectful appearance starts with being well-groomed.
  • Keep it Simple and Dignified: Your clothing should not draw attention. This means avoiding flashy accessories, trendy items, and overly casual wear like jeans or sneakers.
  • Always Defer to the Family: This is the golden rule. If the family requests a specific dress code to honor their loved one—no matter how unconventional—their wishes override all traditional etiquette.

By following these guidelines, you can confidently assemble an appropriate outfit without unnecessary stress. This allows you to set aside concerns about your appearance and focus on what truly matters: supporting the grieving family and paying your respects.